Face-to-Face With The Virtual World


Dr. A,
Given the wide use of computers, PDAs and cell phones today, we have become a world of instantaneous and continuous communications. With the ever increasing need for more information faster, many of us find ourselves losing our sense of humanity.

Communicating has become a typing skill rather than a face-to-face conversation around the dinner table. Are we becoming depersonalized, less empathetic, and more unrealistic in such a virtual world?

~ Confused in the virtual world


Dear Confused in the virtual world,
The short answer to this question is yes. However, there are many and varied opinions as to why technology is having both a positive and negative impact on individuals, families, and societies both in America and throughout the world. We are doing business at the speed of light, people are often overwhelmed with keeping up with increasing demands of technologically-based multi-tasking, students are more concerned with continuous/wireless communication with friends than concentrating on school work, and many adults are burning out trying to balance personal/professional life while simultaneously trying to have it all. How did we get here in the name of progress and what is the human cost?

Historically, America and most global communities relied on an agrarian-based and a barter/trade economy for hundreds of years until about the beginning of the 19th century. Farm communities, small towns, and families were especially close knit since so many people relied on one another for successful harvests and basic survival. Then the industrial revolution was ushered in with the advent of many inventions driven by steam and electricity resulting in assembly-line manufacturing and an emphasis on production of durable goods. This resulted in a growing concentration of masses of people building and living in large cities surrounding factories and steel, textile, and furniture mills. Individuals began to be more anonymous as many farm children grew up and chose city life with more opportunities and an economy increasingly based on division of labor. After the end of World War II in the mid-1940’s, the dramatic increase in manufacturing during the war years continued and began to create suburban neighborhoods which increased the geographic decentralization of the now, more mobile family unit. Multiple moves in the corporate world meant moving up and a more hectic pace of life. The civil rights and women’s movements of the 1960s dramatically provided more economic opportunities for both women and minorities in the workforce. The traditional family model, dad as provider and mom as homemaker, gave rise to the era of the individual, pursuit of instant gratification, corporate greed and a perceived decline in moral behavior characterized by an increasing drug culture (legal & illegal), more permissiveness in raising children, and the first me generation. 

About the mid-1980s, the age of computer-driven information and interactive technology dramatically increased the pace of everyday life and further fragmented family units as hectic, individual schedules for both parents and children created more depersonalization (lack of face-to-face, quality time), stress, anxiety, irritability, anger, frustration, angst and an increasing feeling of alienation from meaningful personal relationships as well as a gradual desensitization (lack of empathy) and compassion for others. 

The combination of all these events have evolved to create an increased entitlement syndrome based on an attitude of “what have you done for me lately?” rather than “what can I do to help you, the family, or the team at work?” Business is now done at the speed of light; information and entertainment are downloaded through multiple, hi-tech gadgets as fast as one can text, type, or touch screens! Reality has now become more virtual as we connect more yet communicate less regarding messages which are non-data driven/human feelings as well as expressions of human needs, wants, and dreams. Cyber-bullying is rampant in most secondary schools and many families have become groups of multi-tasked individuals on different/conflicting schedules. Even when at home, each family member seems compartmented within his/her own world through wireless desktops and laptops, headphones, and TV‘s. Geeks and technonocrats are beginning to be more valuable to businesses than the traditional MBA graduate of the past. Personal networking based on who you know is still vital but what you know technologically is now just as critical. 

What all this means for the future is anyone’s guess but more and more people are finding it increasingly difficult to juggle the complexities of 21st century life while staying centered within a relationship with God, spending quality time with family and friends, and volunteering to help others in need. Achieving a balance between personal needs and professional obligations takes increased planning, organization, and keeping priorities in proper perspective, while always remembering that we make a living by what we get, but make a life by what we give. We must also realize that our net worth is never a measure of our self-worth.

In essence, while living in our current technologically-driven, information age, it is crucial that we stay centered in our faith, individual code of ethics, principles of character, and compassion for others. Remember, it is always the quality of our personal relationships with others which ultimately define and validate our humanity and a life well-lived. We need only to listen to His will in our hearts and have the courage to do the right thing, especially in service to humanity and nature. As Steven Spielberg once noted, “The ability to show love must always be part of the human equation. Technology has not crossed that barrier. The day love dies will be the virtual end of the world.”